Ten hours of driving can make your mind kinda numb...

Sunday morning we woke up and met Jenny, Margi, Shannon, and Peter for breakfast at a casino in town called paradise falls. After the breakfast Jenny, Margi, and I made our way to Mt. Sentinal to hike to the ever famous "M" on the side of the mountain. I was a little nervous in retrospect, considering that the majority of this summer consists of me in a car driving my dad around. This was the first outdoors adventure I would have all summer! And my aunt Margi (who is 75) gets out way more often then I do.
We took it slow, using the time to chat and catch up on our distant stories about our lives to the other distant relative. I really liked having an afternoon with women. I don't realize it til too late sometimes, but living with three men I forget how good it feels to be around women. I had a bit of an identity crisis. "Oh ya... I'm a woman too..."
We reached the "M" sun kissed and accomplished. We stayed up there and chatted about other trails on the surrounding mountains and took pictures (soon to come) of our venture.
Back at uncle Joe's and aunt Margi's, we spent a good deal of time going through old family letters and chronoligies. My great-grandpa was a poet. Uncle Joe tells me that's where I get my love of writing. I had asked to read some of his work, and in the process we found old pictures, letters, and newspaper clippings from past years of our family. Some dating back to the early 1900's. I'm one of those relatives that has always felt a deep connection to my family. Including those I have never met. Listening to Joe and Jenny talk about grandpa carl made me sad to think I would never know him. But I feel so lucky to be able to be in touch with my WHOLE family. Jenny is actually my mom's cousin (their dad's were brothers) but how lucky to be able to be in contact with family that removed? You find out a lot about yourself. I would've never known so much about grandpa Carl if it wasn't for this weekend.
I spent the rest of the afternoon at the mall with Jenny and Shannon (Dad and Joe stayed home to nap). It was fun to look for school clothes with shannon (17) and hear about her friends at school. I was taken back to being 17 and though it was only 4 years ago... how far things have come. It feels like a different life. A different world I used to live on. So strange to look back on those years and think of all the things I wanted and dreamed about... I only hope I haven't let that young 17 year old in me down.
Jenny and the kids left to drive back home to Wyomming, while dad and I had dinner at Joe and Margi's.
The next morning (Monday), dad was schduled to meet an old friend at the new Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation visitor center. My dad has been an active member of this foundation and even worked as a state chairman for awhile. He really enjoyed his "nickel tour" as he kept calling it. I think it's good for him to be able to look back on being apart of something larger than everyday living. It meant a lot to him to tell me about all the projects he helped on and committees he served on. But, as I have told him, he doesn't have to prove to me he did something. I want him to be proud of his accomplishments by himself.
We said goodbye to Missoula Monday afternoon and headed west. We pulled off the 90 in Coeur D'Aliene, Idaho and found a cute motel off Sherman ave. The town was full of families on vacations, groups of friends hanging out, and longboarders. For a Monday night there were a lot of people out and about so we decided to join them. Dad really wanted our last night of the trip to be a fun one, so we headed to the Coeur D'Aliene resort for dinner. There's a fine dining restaurant on the seventh floor that over looks the lake. It was beautiful. It was perfect. We ordered a very nice bottle of wine, shared a delicious shrimp cocktail, and indulged in our own seafood entree's. By the end our main course we were full to the brim!
We walked around just as the sun was setting and found a quaint little wine bar that was having live music. We spent the rest of the night there enjoying creme broulee and a guitarist who, you could tell, was very much into Damien Rice.
We woke slowly this morning taking our time to pack and load up the car for the last time. We met two of dad's old RMEF friends for lunch before heading out of town.
I felt like, though we were half way home, it took longer than it should've! But I was ready to be home in my own bed!

Though I am exhausted and tired and hope not to sit in a car quite awhile, I feel so lucky to have made this trip. It has taught me to stay patient with my dad and understand he's on a journey too. Different than mine and with different prayers.. but he's riding the wave. And I am here purposely to help him stay on it. To love him through it, and learn about him. Who he was and who he is, and still who he longs to be. Realizing my dad isn't a knight in shining armor, and he's not above me and he's not below me. That us, both being adults, both struggling through a tough year, both experienced in losing, both searching for a deeper meaning inside ourselves are here together for a reason. And after this beautiful trip it is more apparent to me that I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be.